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Film Quotes by Stan Laurel

45 quotes
Helpmates
Year: 1932

Director:
James Parrott
Helpmates
Ollie: Get this house cleaned up! Do you know that my wife will be home at noon!
Stan: Say, what do you think I am? Cinderella? If I had any sense I'd walk out on you.
Ollie: Well it's a good thing you haven't any sense!
Stan: It certainly is!
-- Stan Laurel in Helpmates (1932)
Their First Mistake
Year: 1932

Director:
George Marshall
Their First Mistake
Ollie: What did you strike that match for?
Stan: I wanted to see if the light switch was off.
-- Stan Laurel in Their First Mistake (1932)
Laughing Gravy
Year: 1931

Director:
James W. Horne
Laughing Gravy
Ollie: Where are you going?
Stan: [emphatically] I'm gonna get my dog!
-- Stan Laurel in Laughing Gravy (1931)
Helpmates
Year: 1932

Director:
James Parrott
Helpmates
Ollie: Why weren't you at the party last night?
Stan: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog.
Ollie: I can't understand you. Spell it.
Stan: A dog bit me. B-I-it me. Bit me.
Ollie: Where?
Stan: [Rolls up sleeve and puts the telephone to the injured area] They had to take me to the hospital last night and they said I might have hydrophosphates.
-- Stan Laurel in Helpmates (1932)
The Devil's Brother
Year: 1933

Director:
Hal Roach*Charley Rogers
The Devil's Brother
Ollio: I'm not afraid of poverty.
Stanlio: But I am.
-- Stan Laurel in The Devil's Brother (1933)
Bonnie Scotland
Year: 1935

Director:
James W. Horne
Bonnie Scotland
Khan Mir Jutra: [a gunshot is heard behind a screen] Remove the body.
Ollie: [the screen is removed. Stan has his eyes closed and a pistol pointed over his head] What happened?
Stanley MacLaurel: I missed myself.
[cries]
-- Stan Laurel in Bonnie Scotland (1935)
Another Fine Mess
Year: 1930

Director:
James Parrott
Another Fine Mess
Lady Plumtree: Agnes, how long have you been here?
Stan: [in drag as the maid] About half an hour.
[realizing what she has said]
Stan: Oh, heh!
[laughs]
Stan: How silly of me! I'm so nervous. Heh, I mean half a year - to be exact, three months!
-- Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Another Fine Mess (1930)
Sons of the Desert
Year: 1933

Director:
William A. Seiter
Sons of the Desert
Dr. Horace Meddick: What seems to be the trouble?
Stan: I think he's suffering from a nervous shakedown.
-- Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Sons of the Desert (1933)
Nothing But Trouble
Year: 1944

Director:
Sam Taylor
Nothing But Trouble
Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.
Stan: Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?
-- Stan Laurel in Nothing But Trouble (1944)
Pardon Us
Year: 1931

Director:
James Parrott
Pardon Us
Schoolteacher: You spell "Needle"!
Oliver: [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher: There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley: Then it's a rotten needle.
-- Stan Laurel in Pardon Us (1931)