Film Quotes by Moe Howard
156 quotes
Year: 1934
Director:
Ray McCarey
Director:
Ray McCarey
Joe Stacks:
Do you guys want to play football for me?
[takes out wad of money]
Joe Stacks: [Moe and Larry nod. Curley shakes his head no]
Curley: We can't play football.
Joe Stacks: Oh, I get it... You're afraid of losing your amateur status, right?
[the Three Stooges look behind them]
Joe Stacks: That's all right, I'll protect you guys.
Joe Stacks: [waves money at them] Listen... no one will ever see you play... no one will ever hear to play... we'll play behind closed doors. Well, what do you say?
[They all go to take the money]
Moe: Spread out!
[takes money]
[takes out wad of money]
Joe Stacks: [Moe and Larry nod. Curley shakes his head no]
Curley: We can't play football.
Joe Stacks: Oh, I get it... You're afraid of losing your amateur status, right?
[the Three Stooges look behind them]
Joe Stacks: That's all right, I'll protect you guys.
Joe Stacks: [waves money at them] Listen... no one will ever see you play... no one will ever hear to play... we'll play behind closed doors. Well, what do you say?
[They all go to take the money]
Moe: Spread out!
[takes money]
--
Moe Howard
in
Three Little Pigskins
(1934)
Year: 1949
Director:
Jules White
Director:
Jules White
Guard outside palace:
Hark! Who goes there?
Moe, Larry and Shemp (together): Santa Claus!
Guard outside palace: Ah, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Shemp: [as all three of them get out and open their bag] Oh, yes, there is, and we've got a present for you.
Guard outside palace: You have?
Moe: Yeah, right here!
[hits the guard over the head and he falls into the bag unconscious]
Moe, Larry and Shemp (together): Santa Claus!
Guard outside palace: Ah, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Shemp: [as all three of them get out and open their bag] Oh, yes, there is, and we've got a present for you.
Guard outside palace: You have?
Moe: Yeah, right here!
[hits the guard over the head and he falls into the bag unconscious]
--
Moe Howard
in
Malice in the Palace
(1949)
Year: 1935
Director:
Charles Lamont
Director:
Charles Lamont
Anne, Queen of Anesthesia:
From whence came you?
Duke of Durham: Paris.
Baron of Graymatter: Show her the postcards.
[Moe slaps Curly's head]
Anne, Queen of Anesthesia: And what were you doing in Paris?
Count of Fife: Oh, looking over the Paris sites.
Duke of Durham: Paris.
Baron of Graymatter: Show her the postcards.
[Moe slaps Curly's head]
Anne, Queen of Anesthesia: And what were you doing in Paris?
Count of Fife: Oh, looking over the Paris sites.
--
Moe Howard
in
Restless Knights
(1935)
Year: 1963
Director:
Norman Maurer
Director:
Norman Maurer
Phileas Fogg III:
Moe, about how long would you say I've been having kippers for breakfast?
Moe: Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.
Phileas Fogg III: Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.
Moe: Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?
Moe: Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.
Phileas Fogg III: Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.
Moe: Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?
Year: 1934
Director:
Lou Breslow
Director:
Lou Breslow
Girl:
Could you help me? I'm in a terrible dilemma.
Moe: Yeah, I don't care much for these foreign cars myself.
Girl: No, I mean I'm stuck . . .
Moe: On me? Aw, that's what all the girls say.
Girl: No, silly. Stuck in the mud.
Moe: Uh, yeah.
Moe: Yeah, I don't care much for these foreign cars myself.
Girl: No, I mean I'm stuck . . .
Moe: On me? Aw, that's what all the girls say.
Girl: No, silly. Stuck in the mud.
Moe: Uh, yeah.
--
Moe Howard
(as Moe)
in
Punch Drunks
(1934)
Year: 1939
Director:
Del Lord
Director:
Del Lord
Larry, Curly, Moe:
We're at your service night and day; if we don't catch them, you don't pay. Excelsior!
--
Moe Howard
in
We Want Our Mummy
(1939)
Year: 1935
Director:
Del Lord
Director:
Del Lord
Larry:
[after Moe has whistled for he and Curley to come to his side] What's the matter?
Moe: How do you spell "chrysanthemum"?
Larry: [thinks for a moment, looking confused]
Moe: Oh, ignorant, eh?
[slaps Larry, turns to Curley]
Moe: How do you spell it?
Curley: [very quickly] C-h-r-y-s-a-n-t-h-e-m-u-m.
Moe: [pause] Why weren't you here a minute ago?
[slaps Curley]
Moe: How do you spell "chrysanthemum"?
Larry: [thinks for a moment, looking confused]
Moe: Oh, ignorant, eh?
[slaps Larry, turns to Curley]
Moe: How do you spell it?
Curley: [very quickly] C-h-r-y-s-a-n-t-h-e-m-u-m.
Moe: [pause] Why weren't you here a minute ago?
[slaps Curley]
--
Moe Howard
in
Pop Goes the Easel
(1935)
Year: 1947
Director:
Edward Bernds
Director:
Edward Bernds
Larry:
[after the phone booth's walls fall and Moe and Shemp fall out of it]
[to Moe]
Larry: What happened?
Moe: That's what I want to know.
[to Moe]
Larry: What happened?
Moe: That's what I want to know.
--
Moe Howard
in
Brideless Groom
(1947)
Year: 1953
Director:
Jules White
Director:
Jules White
Larry:
[Larry has slammed the top door in Moe's face]
[to Moe]
Larry: I didn't know you were standing there, Moe. I wouldn't have slammed the door.
Moe: [to Larry] Oh, *you* slammed it? That's all right. Hey, is that a dirty spot?
Larry: Where?
Moe: Here!
[slams door in Larry's face]
[to Moe]
Larry: I didn't know you were standing there, Moe. I wouldn't have slammed the door.
Moe: [to Larry] Oh, *you* slammed it? That's all right. Hey, is that a dirty spot?
Larry: Where?
Moe: Here!
[slams door in Larry's face]
--
Moe Howard
in
Goof on the Roof
(1953)