Film Quotes by Bob Hope

[Plane engine sputtering]
Larry Haines: What's that?
Karen Bentley: It isn't moving properly. There's not enough gas to clean a doily.
Larry Haines: Oh, that's fine. That's great! That means we're going to be stuck up here where everybody can see us.
[Screaming as plane dives]

[Upon seeing Erik's Volkswagen]
Bob Holcomb: Maybe we had better put the car in our luggage.

Jeff Peters: Orville, where are you?
Turkey Jackson: Right over here, behind these goosepimples.

Jeff Peters: We must storm the place.
Turkey Jackson: You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle.

Turkey Jackson: How'd you get the spinach, old boy?
Jeff Peters: Funny thing, a guy I've never seen before in my life gives me 2,500 Kolacs... that's 200 federal diplomas, are you listening?
Turkey Jackson: 200 skins? Why, what for?
Jeff Peters: I sold him something.
Turkey Jackson: Well you've got nothing to sell! We've already hocked your pivot tooth.
Jeff Peters: It wasn't much, but it was all I had, and was he anxious to get it!
Turkey Jackson: What did you sell him?
Jeff Peters: Look, uh, Orville, I want you to keep very calm now. Don't get excited.
Turkey Jackson: [grabbing Jeff, nervous] What did you sell him?
Jeff Peters: You.
Turkey Jackson: Oh, well, for a minute I - HUH? Me? Wait a minute, get that guy and give him those fish back! What's the matter with you, you can't sell me, I'm not a horse! It's just the way I comb my hair!

Turkey Jackson: I hope she didn't hear that. The dead have a way of coming back you know.
Jeff Peters: Get out, when they're dead they're dead.
Turkey Jackson: Not Aunt Lucy, she was a Republican.