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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
[runs backstage to try to stop the play]
Stagehand: Hey, what can I do for you? Franz Liebkind: You will please be unconscious. [hits him on the head]
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
Baby! Baby!... Why does he say this "baby"? The Führer has never said "baby". I did not write, "baby". What is it with this, "baby"?
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
Der Führer does not say, "Achtung, baby."
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
Gentlemen. Ve have here a technical problem. Hmm? I do not know if vat ve have here is ze quick burning fuse or ze slow buring fuse. Ja, ja, I must find zis out.
[snips dynamite fuse] Franz Liebkind: Zis is critical. [lights fuse with match] Franz Liebkind: Ha ha ha, ja ja, you see zis? You see zis here vat I have told you? Yeah, zis is an example of smartness here. I have said that zis is ze quick fuse. Huh? And zis IS ze quick fuse. [pause] All: THE QUICK FUSE! [explosion]
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Franz Liebkind:
Not many people know it, but the Fuhrer was a terrific dancer.
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Kenneth Mars
(as Franz Liebkind)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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The landlord:
He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law.
Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket? The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord. Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land! The landlord: [also to God] Don't listen to him; he's crazy.
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William Hickey
(as The Drunk)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Max Bialystock:
[on "Springtime For Hitler"] ... It's practically a love-letter to Hitler!
Leo Bloom: Wow. This play wouldn't run a NIGHT! Max Bialystock: A night? Are you kidding? This play's guaranteed to close on PAGE FOUR!
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Zero Mostel
(as Max Bialystock)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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Max Bialystock:
[reading post-show telegrams] "Congratulations! Hitler will run forever."
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Zero Mostel
(as Max Bialystock)
in
The Producers
(1968)
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