Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: Well, my mother loves me.
Bill Miller: I'll bet she was disappointed. I'll bet she wanted a child.
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: She got one. Look up the records. I was born at Mercy Hospital.
Bill Miller: Were you sick?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: No, I wanted to be near my mother.

- Jerry Lewis in The Stooge (1952)

Sam Robertson: [Referring to Ted Rogers] Tell me the truth, Miss Regan, do you honestly think he's human?
Miss Regan, Robertson's Secretary: I've heard people bet both ways.

- Mary Treen in The Stooge (1952)

[Ted is drunk]
Mary Turner: [whispering] Don't you think Ted has had enough?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: You whisperin' about me?
Bill Miller: Oh, no. What gives you that idea?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: I don't know. Am I being very extraordinary
[hiccups]
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: "Extraordinary". That's a funny one.
[drinks more champagne]
Mary Turner: How do you feel?
Theodore 'Ted' Rogers: I feel very... gling glong. Thank you.
Bill Miller: Gling glong?

- Dean Martin in The Stooge (1952)