Oberst Von Scherbach: All right then, gentlemen, we are all friends again. And with Christmas coming on I have a special treat for you. I'll have you all deloused for the holidays and I'll have a little Christmas tree for every barrack. You will like that.

- Otto Preminger (as Oberst von Scherbach) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Oberst Von Scherbach: Curtains would do wonders for this barracks. You will not get them.

- Otto Preminger (as Oberst von Scherbach) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Oberst Von Scherbach: I'm grateful for a little company. I suffer from insomia.
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar: Did you ever try 40 sleeping pills?

- Don Taylor (as Lt. James Dunbar) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Oberst Von Scherbach: Nobody has ever escaped from Stalag 17. Not alive, anyway.

- Otto Preminger (as Oberst von Scherbach) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Sgt. Schulz: [amused] You Americans are so *crazy*! That's why I like you!

- Sig Ruman (as Sgt. Schulz) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Sgt. Schulz: [on seeing the men wearing Hitler moustaches] Bah! One Fuhrer is enough!

- Sig Ruman (as Sgt. Schulz) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Sgt. Schulz: [preparing POWs for an important inspection] The barracks should be schpic, and also schpan!

- Sig Ruman (as Sgt. Schulz) in Stalag 17 (1953)

Sgt. Schulz: How do you expect to win the war with an army of clowns?
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar: We sort of hope you'd laugh yourselves to death.

- Don Taylor (as Lt. James Dunbar) in Stalag 17 (1953)