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Baravelli:
There's a man outside with a big black moustache.
Professor Wagstaff: Tell him I've got one!
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Baravelli:
You sing-a high.
Connie: Yes, I have a falsetto voice. Baravelli: That's-a funny; my last pupil she had-a false set-a teeth.
-
Chico Marx
(as Baravelli)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Frank:
Dad, let me congratulate you. I'm proud to be your son.
Professor Wagstaff: My boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm ashamed to be your father. You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Frank:
Dad, two of the greatest football players in the country hang out in a speakeasy downtown.
Professor Wagstaff: Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Football Coach:
[sees Wagstaff lying in the middle of the field with a cigar] What are you doing with that cigar in your mouth?
Professor Wagstaff: Why? Do you know another way to smoke it?
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor:
The trustees have a few suggestions they would like to submit to you.
Professor Wagstaff: I think you know what the trustees can do with their suggestions.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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[in canoe]
Professor Wagstaff: I was gonna get a flat bottom but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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[Wagstaff's looking in a microscope]
Biology Professor: What do you think of that slide? Professor Wagstaff: Well, I think he was safe at second, but it was very close.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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