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Professor Wagstaff:
In case I never see you again, which would add ten years to my life, what would you fellas want to play football?
Baravelli: Well, first we want a football. Professor Wagstaff: Well, I don't know if we've got a football, but if I can find one, would you be interested? I don't want a hasty answer, just sleep on it. Baravelli: I no think I can sleep on a football.
-
Chico Marx
(as Baravelli)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Jumping anaconda!
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Tomorrow we start tearing down the college.
The Professors: But, Professor, where will the students sleep? Professor Wagstaff: Where they always sleep: in the classroom.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Who was that?
Connie: The ice man. Professor Wagstaff: Is that so? Well, you can't pull the wool over my ice.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement she'll never know the difference.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Why, I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse!
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
You know you've got the brain of a four-year old child, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw "The American Tragedy."
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
You're heading for a breakdown, why don't you pull yourself to pieces?
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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Professor Wagstaff:
Young man, you'll find as you get older, you can't burn the candle at both ends.
[Harpo pulls out a candle burning at both ends] Professor Wagstaff: Well, I knew you couldn't burn something at both ends. I thought it was a candle.
-
Groucho Marx
(as Professor Wagstaff)
in
Horse Feathers
(1932)
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