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Pseudolus:
[disguised as a soothsayer and chanting loud gibberish] I say! You are in need of a soothsayer.
Erronius: How did you know? Pseudolus: I'd be a fine soothsayer if I didn't.
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
[seeing his master, who has been seized and kissed by a courtesan] Sir! You're back!
Senex: She almost broke it!
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Michael Hordern
(as Senex)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
[Speaking of the girl Hero says he loves] A common courtesan in the house of Lycus?
Hero: Is that bad? Pseudolus: There's no way to make it sound like an achievement!
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
Don't you know? When they start to smile, the end is near. I hear it's lovely on Crete. Everyone lying there... smiling.
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
Don't you think it's time we started trusting each other?
Hysterium: One of us isn't ready yet.
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Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces.
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
Wait!
Hero: Yes? Pseudolus: A brilliant idea! Hero: Yes! Pseudolus: That's what we need, a brilliant idea.
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Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Pseudolus:
We'll need a body. Anybody's body.
Hysterium: Can you get one from Gusto the Body Snatcher? Pseudolus: He owes me a favor! But he died yesterday. Hysterium: Uh - what about HIS body? Pseudolus: Somebody snatched it. Uh, let's see... who do we know that's dead? Hysterium: [sadly] I wish *I* was. [Pseudolus grins madly at him. As if to say, "Aha! That's it!"]
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Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)
in
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
(1966)
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