Quotes about Silliness

Otis B. Driftwood: [attempting to sell insurance to a ship porter] I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.

- Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera (1935)

Henderson: Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?
Otis B. Driftwood: Now which question do you want me to answer first Henderson?

- Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera (1935)

Turkey Jackson: Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. 'Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing,' she said. 'Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville,' she said. 'No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk,' she said. 'Promise me, Jeff, promise me,' she said.
Jeff Peters: Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no.

- Bing Crosby (as Jeff Peters) in Road to Morocco (1942)

Longfellow Deeds: Hand me my pants. I wrote her phone number on a piece of paper.
Walter: You have no pants, sir. You came home last night without them.
Longfellow Deeds: I did what?
Walter: As a matter of fact, you came home without any clothes at all. You were in your shorts. Yes, sir.
Longfellow Deeds: Don't be silly, Walter. I couldn't walk around on the streets without any clothes. I'd be arrested.
Walter: That's what the two policemen said, sir.
Longfellow Deeds: What two policemen?
Walter: The ones who brought you home, sir. They said you and another gentleman kept walking up and down the street shouting "back to nature! Clothes are a blight on civilization! Back to nature!"

- Raymond Walburn (as Walter) in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)

Mrs. Durant: Oh, isn't he a marvelous dentist?
Harvey Greenfield: Great.
Mrs. Durant: But with his talents he would have made an even better obstetrician.

- Irene Hervey (as Mrs. Durant) in Cactus Flower (1969)

Father Fitzgibbons: A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.

- Bing Crosby (as Father Chuck O'Malley) in Going My Way (1944)