Calvin Coolidge Ishimura: Don't shoot. I'm an American like you. I'm Calvin Coolidge Ishimura.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell: Yeah and I'm Sessue Hayakawa O'Farrell.

- Bob Hope (as Sgt. Dan O'Farrell) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Nurse Nellie Krause: Hey! Be careful! You want to muss my hair?

- Phyllis Diller (as Nurse Nellie Krause) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Pvt. Johnny Bannon: Sarge, movie starts in about five minutes. It's a double feature, Sarge. Two Bing Crosby pictures.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell: Bite your tongue.

- Bob Hope (as Sgt. Dan O'Farrell) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Maria: I don't care if the Army does come first. As long as I'm the first woman.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell: And the last.

- Bob Hope (as Sgt. Dan O'Farrell) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Sgt. Dan O'Farrell: Snavely's at the Crosby double feature, so it's a cinch he's asleep.

- Bob Hope (as Sgt. Dan O'Farrell) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Lt. Lyman P. Jones: Sorry, I bit your hand but I was dreaming about Nurse Krause, again.
Sgt. Dan O'Farrell: Yeah, those reruns are murder.

- Bob Hope (as Sgt. Dan O'Farrell) in The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)