Gripweed: And I'm not a thief, really. I've never found anything worth keeping.

- John Lennon (as Gripweed) in How I Won the War (1967)

Gripweed: Well, our officer calls me up and he says to me, he says, "Musketeer Gripweed..." He was a tall chap, some would call him weedy. I did. He said to me, and bear in mind that we were some few hundred miles behind enemy lines. He said, "green, green, green," so I did.

- John Lennon (as Gripweed) in How I Won the War (1967)

Grapple: That's the way to beat the Hun - dig in, then break through with sword and lance.
[slight pause]
Grapple: I think.

- Michael Hordern (as Grapple) in How I Won the War (1967)

Clapper: You married?
Gripweed: No, I play the harmonica.

- John Lennon (as Gripweed) in How I Won the War (1967)