Bob Miles: Whu don't you straighten up?
Wilbur Hoolick: Oh, I am straightened up. It's just that my shoulders are stupid.

- Jerry Lewis (as Wilbur Hoolick) in You're Never Too Young (1955)

Ticket agent: [Referring to Wilbur who is diguised as a 12 year old with a ray gun in order to get a half price ticket] He's going to be a space cadet?
Bob Miles: If he lives, he'll be a space cadet.

- Dean Martin (as Bob Miles) in You're Never Too Young (1955)

Mrs. Ella Brennan: [as Noonan, masquerading as Wilbur's father, takes his "son" out of school] Take good care of him.
Noonan: [With irony] Oh, he'll be taken care of.
Wilbur Hoolick: [after Noonan starts to strangle him] I don't want to go.
Mrs. Ella Brennan: Why, Wilbur?
Noonan: Yes, tell her why.
Wilbur Hoolick: Well, because, you see, I'm not really a little...
Wilbur Hoolick: [He realizes he cannoot reveal the truth] I like it hee. I want to go to school here.
Mrs. Ella Brennan: This is a girls' school!
Wilbur Hoolick: That's why I like it here.

- Jerry Lewis (as Wilbur Hoolick) in You're Never Too Young (1955)

Wilbur Hoolick: [Imitating a French barber] Eef you lay one... If you lay un hand on me, you know whatI will do?
Noonan: [Nastily] What?
Wilbur Hoolick: I'll bleed! Au revoir.

- Jerry Lewis (as Wilbur Hoolick) in You're Never Too Young (1955)