Chick Larkin: [talking about Juliet Collins] So she has a couple of buck teeth.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: I don't care how much they cost.

- Lou Costello (as Mervin Q. Milgrim / Voice of Himself on Radio) in Who Done It? (1942)

Mervin Q. Milgrim: [Mervin and Chick and performing their radio play for Juliet, Mervin's holding a gun on Chick] Bang! Ow! Bang! Ow! Bang! Ow!
Juliet Collins: Wait a minute, if you're shooting at him
[Chick]
Juliet Collins: , then why are you yelling?
Mervin Q. Milgrim: I'm holding the gun backwards!

- Lou Costello (as Mervin Q. Milgrim / Voice of Himself on Radio) in Who Done It? (1942)

Mervin Q. Milgrim: [nauseous] I gotta go back upstairs and get something...
Chick Larkin: What have you gotta get?
Mervin Q. Milgrim: My stomach...

- Lou Costello (as Mervin Q. Milgrim / Voice of Himself on Radio) in Who Done It? (1942)

Mervin Q. Milgrim: I've seen better heads on malted milks.

- Lou Costello (as Mervin Q. Milgrim / Voice of Himself on Radio) in Who Done It? (1942)

Customer: What happened to my strawberry sundae?
Mervin Q. Milgrim: What's today?
Customer: Friday.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: You've got two more days to wait.

- Lou Costello (as Mervin Q. Milgrim / Voice of Himself on Radio) in Who Done It? (1942)