Quotes from Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Jerry Ryan: Will you stop walking up and down?
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I'm nervous.
Jerry Ryan: So am I, but this walking around isn't helping us any.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I was just waiting to be stopped.

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Jerry Ryan: You've nothing better to do.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I've eleven different things I could be doing!
Jerry Ryan: Different isn't better. Why aren't you doing them?

- Robert Mitchum (as Jerry Ryan) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: All my life I never yet been able to beat up one lousy man.

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: First thing you said was "Help me", on the telephone!
Jerry Ryan: No. I said I wouldn't say...
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: You said "Help me"! I said "Sure"

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: How'd I get in the wrong? Did you call about the icebox or not?
Jerry Ryan: Not.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Well, I can't follow this. You called.
Jerry Ryan: I called because I was going out of my head in solitary.
Jerry Ryan: I called to make contact with someone of the weaker sex, who's weaker.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: OK, here I am. Contact.
Jerry Ryan: I called to ask you to dinner tonight. And a show, if you like.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Well, why didn't ya?
Jerry Ryan: I was afraid you'd say yes or no.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I would have said "Sure"!
Jerry Ryan: Right away we have problems. What show? Where to eat?
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Wait! Now I'm not so sure. I don't know if I want to get involved. You sound complicated.
Jerry Ryan: Oh.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I'm the girl, right? And you're the man. Make up your mind, ask me, and I'll make up mine.
Jerry Ryan: Been trying for a month.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: To ask me to dinner?
Jerry Ryan: No, to get unstuck from a piece of flypaper. After you've broken your leg in five places you hesitate to make that first step. Reason I hung up on you was because I didn't want to say, "Please, help me"

- Robert Mitchum (as Jerry Ryan) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I gotta get outta here before you slug me.
Jerry Ryan: Slug you? That what you expect from your romances?
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: When it comes to men, I expect the worst.

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: I'm late.
Jerry Ryan: Yeah, I know.
Jerry Ryan: Next time I'll make sarcastic remarks.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: We're on next time already!

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Is it OK enough to?
Jerry Ryan: Is what OK enough to?
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Your leg?
Jerry Ryan: It may have affected my head!

- Robert Mitchum (as Jerry Ryan) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: It's like when I was a kid, we used to neck in the vestibule. She's inside you and I'm always outside in the vestibule. Everything you did here was to prove something to her.
Jerry Ryan: To you. To myself.
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: To her. With her you couldn't stand on your own two feet, so with me you will, only I gotta stand on them too. You'll show her. With her you took handouts, with me you'll give handouts. Lofts, presents. Never mind if I want 'em, you'll show her. When you're blue, I don't have to worry what I did wrong. She called, she didn't call. She wrote a letter, she didn't write a letter. It's always her.

- Shirley MacLaine (as Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)

Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: Jerry?
Jerry Ryan: What?
Gittel 'Mosca' Moscawitz: You don't like me any more?
Jerry Ryan: I hate you. Is that passionate enough?

- Robert Mitchum (as Jerry Ryan) in Two for the Seesaw (1962)