Bertie: All they do here is knock off hats, but I enjoy it. It occupies the mind.

- Buster Keaton (as Bertie Van Alstyne) in The Saphead (1920)

Bertie: Do all these seats cost 100,000 dollars?

- Buster Keaton (as Bertie Van Alstyne) in The Saphead (1920)

Bertie: I'm good. I've tried my best to get over it - but I can't - and I still kneel down and say my prayers every morning - before I go to bed.

- Buster Keaton (as Bertie Van Alstyne) in The Saphead (1920)