Colonel Stok: Do you play chess?
Harry Palmer: Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Colonel Stok: I wish to defect, but there are conditions.
Harry Palmer: What do you want?
Colonel Stok: I want colonel's pay for life.
Harry Palmer: Don't we all.
Colonel Stok: A house in the country.
Harry Palmer: Oh, how many bedrooms?
Colonel Stok: Bedrooms do not matter. But I must have a big garden. I am a peasant at heart, and I want to grow roses in my old age.
Harry Palmer: In England, roses are out - weeds are in. Is that all?
Colonel Stok: That is all. I want comfort and security.
Harry Palmer: You've got all that in Russia now.
Colonel Stok: Aah, in Russia there is no place for an old Bolshevik. In my job I have made too many enemies.
Harry Palmer: Well, what about your family?
Colonel Stok: My wife died in a German air raid in 1941; my only son hasn't written to me in three years. What would you do in my position?
Harry Palmer: I'd stop telling lies, for a start. You have no son, and your wife is in Kiev with your daughter Katya. I know everything about you, Colonel Stok... from the size of your refrigerator to the cubic capacity of your mistress.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Colonel Stok: If there is a mistake, the KRAPOs will be shooting at me.
Harry Palmer: That'll be nice: you'll find out what it's like to be an East German.
Colonel Stok: You are insolent! Do you think this job, this loathsome Wall, is all I've done for Communism? Does Smolensk mean anything to you, or Stalingrad?
[chuckles]
Colonel Stok: I look at your stupid face and I think you mean what you say. I like you, you're good at your job. You need only one thing.
Harry Palmer: What's that?
Colonel Stok: A reason for doing it.
Harry Palmer: I get paid.
Colonel Stok: £30 a week? Is it worth it - to be a tool of the generals? A tool for making trouble? Trouble makes arms, arms make money...
Harry Palmer: When you get to England, we'll give you a soapbox. You sure you want to defect tomorrow?
Colonel Stok: I told you, I'm still a good Communist. When a man leaves his wife, he remembers his wedding night. Communism was the love of my youth, and I've been faithful... until now. I was with Antomikov Sanko at the storming of the Winter Palace in 1917. Do you know what that means in Russia?
Harry Palmer: Yes, I think so. It means you're an expendable hero.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Harry Palmer: I'm sorry, I just don'f feel like an Edmund Duff.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Harry Palmer: Oh, by the way, is old Klaus Burger still alive?
Police officer: The forger?
Harry Palmer: Yeah, the forger.
Police officer: I'd like to run you out of Berlin, Palmer! You and MI5 and the Deuxième Bureau and the CIA and the rest of them. Then I can do my job instead of providing work for every forger, confidence man, thief, and murderer in this town!
Harry Palmer: Oh, I agree, I agree, I agree. But... is old man Klaus still alive?

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Harry Palmer: She picked me up last night, and - with my irrestible charm - I want to know why, and who she's working for.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Harry Palmer: You're useless in the kitchen, why don't you go back to bed.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Samantha Steel: My name is Samantha Steel. Some people call me Sam.
Harry Palmer: Edmund Dorf. Some people call me Edna.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Waiter: Bitte, mein Herr?
Harry Palmer: No, Löwenbrau, please.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)

[after a plan goes wrong]
Harry Palmer: Let's get out of here. I've got some fiction to write.

- Michael Caine in Funeral in Berlin (1966)