Al Stewart: What's going on out there?
Wilbert: My in-laws are acting like out-laws.

- Lou Costello (as Wilbert Smith) in Comin' Round the Mountain (1951)

[after seeing a goat]
Wilbert: Funny-looking dog.

- Lou Costello (as Wilbert Smith) in Comin' Round the Mountain (1951)

[after walking into an old beat-down cabin]
Wilbert: How could my kin folks ever live in a joint like this?
Al Stewart: Probably your four fathers lived here.
Wilbert: I beg your pardon?
Al Stewart: I said probably your four fathers lived here before you.
Wilbert: My four fathers?
Al Stewart: Yes.
Wilbert: I didn't have four fathers.
Al Stewart: Sure, you did.
Wilbert: If I did, only one came home nights.

- Lou Costello (as Wilbert Smith) in Comin' Round the Mountain (1951)